This piece is part of a creative writing challenge “The Cindafuckingrella Write Off” with the theme: “Life”

By Petra Pan

7.55 Snooze

8.05 Snooze, grab remote and turn on TV.

8.15 Turn off alarm. Why anyone ever produced – let alone watched the Drew Carey is beyond me: It fucking SUCKS!

8.20 Turn on computer, check mails, send mail of things to do to assistant.

8.25 Morning-tv sucks; annoying people talking about the weather, what to wear and more about the latest goddamn album from X-factor winner. Should really be getting up now!!

8.30 Thank God I washed my hair at the gym yesterday, otherwise I would be running late. (Gym: Where I go to turn my body into shapes I really wish I didn’t have to face in a mirror as well as being gawked at by 20 year old girls in the shower because my 70’ties upbringing and hairy genes has left me with a huge beaver instead of neat landing strip.)

8.45 Shiiiit how did that happen? Hit the shower running, while kettle is boiling.

8.50 Making coffee, pouring juice while making a quick breakfast omelette. Shut up! I might be late but a girl’s gotta eat! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

9.05 Doing hair as well as slathering face with serums, lotions and ointments (only some of which are prescribed). Being 33 and single is bad enough – LOOKING 33 and single is an entirely different thing!

9.15 Throwing gym clothes in gymbag and everything else in ordinary bag (the size of small suitcase, ‘cause you never know when you need a notebook, a handkerchief or the entire content of your bathroom closet.)

9.20 Goddammit. Back up to the 4th floor to check if curling iron/stove/lights is switched of. All are. Down again.

9.35 Arriving at work with a “Hello” since “Goodmorning” seems inappropriate.

10:15 After getting coffee and chatting with assistant, ready to do groundbreaking work.

11.30 Off to lunch to stare dreamingly at ridicously goodlooking guy from 2nd floor. I know from last year’s Christmas party that he is an ass, but with cheekbones like that, who cares? I’d still do him!

17.30 Coin toss; going to the gym or spoil myself with a nice dinner and a glass (or 3) of wine?

20.30 Slightly drunk, I am eating in front of the TV.

23.30 Really should be getting ready for bed, after all I have an early start tomorrow. But Alexander Skarsgaard is about to take his clothes off, so might as well finish this episode. Any more wine left?



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