100 Things You’ll Know If You Read This, Part Two
51. I dream about living in Tuscany.
52. I once changed my cousin’s diaper after she had eaten a whole pack of gum and her poop smelled like peppermint.
53. I feel lucky to be alive.
54. I eat for comfort.
55. I once served a traditional Danish lunch for one […]
100 Things You’ll Know If You Read This, Part One
1. I never really cared for Tom Cruise or his movies (except Magnolia!) but I always admired his ability to run fast. His little legs going like drumsticks.
2. The other day, I scratched another car when I tried to park. And I drove away without leaving a note – in a panic. […]
Flower markets, lots of yumminess, beautiful architecture, canals, bicycles and tall white people who talk a funny language that sounds like a cross between German, English and someone throwing up. (Someone might think that was a description of Danish, another ugly language that sounds like people gagging on […]
Can I Have Some Cheese With My Whine?
Being the mother of two small kids is exhausting. My very vise friend Susan once told me:
“Having one kid is having one kid. Having two kids, is having 10 kids”.
I now understand what she means. It isn’t just double up on the workload. Somehow, it is 10 times harder having two. I […]
Pure Decadence – A Sinful Cake
This cake is so bad, it would make any high profile clergy-politician found at a sleazy motel in the company of an underage crack hore and a big bag of bribe money seem good.
It is filled with nuts, butter, eggs and sugar and is very unhealthy. And it tastes so good, you want to […]
The Squandering And Exploitation Of Talent
Remember Whitney Houston in the late 80’s?
She had an unparalleled voice and looked like a goddess. She was hugely popular all over the world and – from the outside looking in, at least – had it all. Then she fell in love with the devil in disguise and this soon lead to her druggy demise. Today, […]
From following a thread on Facebook, yesterday I gathered that a former colleague had died suddenly. I watched as the messages began to tick in on her page, messages of grief, disbelief and sorrow. And I sent my own, knowing that she wouldn’t read it but knowing that her family would. To let them know […]
How funny is this? A “Fan” sent me this. (The check is in the mail!!)
Beige-doughy-accountant-type-with-greasy-hair-and-cats-named-”Schnookums”-and-”Lady”-and-bad-breath by day…
Sexy-latino-type-blogging-goddess-with-license-to-tell-the-world-off by night.
This Really Happened, Part Three
My friend Zack got an email from his brother, Mills, who had just found out that he had impregnated a girl.
He and the girl had been loose acquaintances in college. He vaguely remembered a stupid Halloween party at the Alpha-Phi-Alpha house, where they ended up having drunken, bad sex standing against a bathroom wall. […]
In The After-Glow Dessert: Grilled Peaches
We’ve had lots of company recently – and I have thus made lots of deserts!
Here’s a desert easy to make using the afterheat of the coals after a barbecue.
Peaches (most other fruits can also be used – the sky is the limit!!) Vanilla sugar (sugar blended with real vanilla pods – keeps […]
This Really Happened, Part Two
They met at a bar and instantly hit it off. He was funny and charming, she was intelligent and witty. He got them a round of drinks, she held his gaze across the table, he said something funny, she laughed heartily. Finally, she took his hand and lead him to the dance floor, where a […]
This Really Happened, Part One
She had always been fascinated by snakes and was very excited when she brought home her very own. The pet store had provided the right terrarium and counseled her on how to keep him. She called him “Mr. Snakey”.
When she was alone with him, she baby-talked him. “Ain’t that right, Mr. Snakey?”, she’d ask […]
French Toast with Peaches and Lemon Curd
Here’s a fatty breakfast that will win over anyone who likes that fried, buttery, sweet, cinnamon-y taste…
4 slices of bread – stale is good 2 eggs, whisked with a bit of milk and cinnamon and vanilla sugar Butter for the pan 2 fresh peaches – or bananas might do the trick. Or strawberries – […]
Watermelon Salad With Feta and Honey Roasted Sunflower Seeds
Here’s an easy and delicious salad:
Watermelon in mouth size pieces Feta cheese Sunflower seeds, roasted lightly in a pan with a dollop of honey Rucket leaves Balsamic glaze (storebought – it is too much work to make it your self and it stinks up the house!)
Sunflower seeds are […]
I have this pair of jeans that I wore when I was.. younger… well….thinner. They REALLY don’t fit me now. I think the other only time the fit me WORSE, I was 10 centimeters dilated and getting ready to push. I still keep them, though. In a sad little bag way in the back of […]
A Woman’s Right to Shoes
High heels are sexy. Not only do they make the leg look longer and hence the person appear thinner in accordance with the beauty ideals of today. They also make it difficult for the woman to get away. Regardless of the woman’s intentions, high heels thus signal fuckability.
In the 70’s, the feminists burned […]
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