They met at a bar and instantly hit it off. He was funny and charming, she was intelligent and witty. He got them a round of drinks, she held his gaze across the table, he said something funny, she laughed heartily. Finally, she took his hand and lead him to the dance floor, where a sexy song had just begun. They danced slowly, closely and finally kissed. The kiss intensified. They left the bar together.
A short cab ride later, they were at his place. He slowly removed her clothes and gasped when he saw how beautiful she was. They had passionate sex the first time. Made quiet love the next time. Exploring each other’s bodies.
It was a wonderful, perfect night.
In the morning, he had a meeting. He HAD to be there, although her warm body in his bed was so much more appealing. He put a cup of coffee on the table next to the bed and kissed her. Told her to let herself out and how he had enjoyed that wonderful, perfect night with her. Told her to leave her number on his kitchen counter. They kissed once more and she followed him smilingly with her eyes until he was out the door.
Alone in his bed, she sighed. That content sigh of someone on the brink of falling in love. This might really be something. She took a sip of coffee. YES! Strong! She hated weak coffee. She looked around. He had good taste too. Sure, some of his knick knacks might have to go if they ever moved in together – but so far, nothing she saw indicated psycho-serial-killer or -even worse – republican.
The coffee did the trick and she went looking for the loo. Bingo! Now, she was a pretty girl but what happened next wasn’t. She took a huge dump. A real crap. Maybe it was the alcohol from the night before or the coffee – but she really gave her all. Only to find that the toilet did not flush. She looked around for a plunger but didn’t find one. She filled a bucket with water and tried to pour it into the toilet but it wouldn’t go down.
Finally, she got a plastic bag and took the turd out of the toilet. She tied the knot twice on the plastic bag and placed it on the kitchen counter, where she would see it on her way out. Thank god for fiber – it was a firm one. By now, she had hectic red cheeks and was NOT enjoying herself.
A not so perfect ending to an otherwise perfect night. Some day this might be funny. But not today!
She removed all traces of her little incident and proceeded to take a shower. He even had good shampoo. She got dressed, made the bed, put the coffee cup in the sink and wrote him a note. “I had a great time. Call me some time”. And then her number.
As she left, it was not until she heard the click of the door locking that she realized that the turd-in-a-bag was still sitting on his kitchen counter, next to her note.
He never called.
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OMG, I’ll be laughing for a week every time I see a plastic bag!