Resembling a cross between a sea lion chasing a penguin on dry land and a Paralympic gymnastics floor exercise, I try to get comfortable next to my 3-year old in his junior bed. I snuggle up real close and kiss his neck, inhale deeply, about to sing a song, when he says: ”Get out!”

Startled, I laugh. ”Don’t you want me to sing you a song?”

He spells it out: ”I want you to get out of my room now.”

I try once more and hopefully asks: ”But… I could read you a story??”

He is relentless and repeats: “GET OUT!”

I worm myself out of the bed and humbly ask if he wants me to close the door. “Open”, he says. And adds: “I love you”. Not to soften the blow, just because he does.

We were visiting friends when my 7-year old kid eyed the big cakes on the table. He asked: “Can I have a cake, I really want one of those cakes”. I was mortified. “Wait until you are offered!” I hissed, and continued: “YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO JUST SAY WHAT YOU WANT.”

Yes, I see it. Yes, I saw it. That is crazy talk. Bullshit, even.

I hope my own crazy-ass rules don’t fuck up my kids. I hope they always know what they want and go for it.

Only knowing what you don’t want or not knowing what you do want is frustrating as hell and it makes you less likely to get what you want. Trust me on this.


What do you want? (Apart from cake?)

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