NSA transcript 453344000499433344455w22344422344. 2014: USA
Respondent 1 identified as Oprah Winfrey ( NSA file 33442249945000WFRY)
Respondent 2 identified as Cindafuckingrella (NSA file 0000229938947774744CINF)
R1: Hey sweetie, it’s Oprah.
R2: Oprah who?
R1: (Laughs) You know damn well who. (Laughs) (In mocking voice) ’Oprah who?’. (Laughs) There IS only [...]
On 06/10/2014 at 5. 50 PM “Ann @ PhotoFeeler” <email@example.com> wrote: ann @ PhotoFeeler firstname.lastname@example.org via sendgrid.me 5:50 PM (42 minutes ago) to me Hey,How’s your day going? Good, I hope.
It’s Ann from PhotoFeeler.
This is a little embarrassing, but the thing is… the team and I like you a lot. And we’d like to talk [...]
9 year old: ”Moom… If you had a terrible secret, would you tell your best friend in the world?”
Me: ”Eh. I dunno. What is the secret?”
9 year old: ”Well.. It’s.. Well, he broke into the teacher’s office…”
Me: ”Ooo.. Kay. Then what happened?”
9 year old: ”And he stole something.”
Me: ”You know [...]
“When I was 14, I woke up one morning and my dad had died. I never knew how sick he was. Nobody told me anything.” He – a boulder of a man – crumbled and started crying. ”I am sorry but I think you have the right to know.” And then he told me. I screamed. We reached [...]
My GOD that women just wouldn’t SHUT UP! Yap, yap, yap. Yak, yak, yak. Not interesting tales, I might add. Eeeeeeeeverything would be discussed, not a stone unturned, not a detail not mentioned. My issues with patience went a-flame and I conciously fought not to fall into my ugly pattern of sighing loudly. I tried [...]
The Ayatollah and I just celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary. To mark this occasion, he took me for a romantic dinner at a very nice restaurant (that he had carefully selected) and presented me with a very beautiful set of earrings.
I proudly showed them to my girlfriend and she mentioned how ”lucky” I was, [...]
American psychologist Martin Seligman placed 3 dogs in harnesses. Dog 1 was simply put in the harnesses for a period of time and later released. Dog 2 was given electric shocks, which the dog could end by pressing a lever. Dog 3 received shocks of identical intensity and duration as Dog 2, but his lever didn’t [...]
I once worked as a recruiter for an advertising agency. I got an application from a guy, who had “I’ve Got Balls” as a headline. To prove his point, he had attached a picture of his scrotum.
Me – I seem to have lost my balls. They were there once, now I cannot find [...]
Leaving behind a grey, cold and rainy Nordic Noir-scene, I arrived in Paris on a sunny spring day in April. The sun was shining, the chestnut trees were in bloom, the birds were chirping. I was thirsty after an early morning flight, a bus ride and a walk with my trolley on tow. I stopped [...]
The restaurant was half-empty with only six guests seated and a very beautiful Vietnamese waitress barking her orders through the tiny hatch in the wall where the kitchen lay. We ordered our food, and cool, refreshing drinks were promptly served.
It had been a long and beautiful day; class from 9 [...]
Hell hath no fury like this lady, barking loud orders into her phone.
Though February, the sun was out, so both my taxi driver and me had our windows open, as we waited at the light. The staccato of her yelling revealed some eastern European tongue. She almost couldn’t contain herself. I never saw such [...]
From our class room there is a view of le Sacre Ceur. I walked up there Tuesday afternoon. Today is Friday and my calves are still diamond-shaped, rock hard and sore like a hooker on Navy Week.
I go to class in the morning and on my way I meet the dads. [...]
One advantage of always turning up early is that it leaves time for one of my favorite pastimes; to people-watch. I imagine where they are from, where they are going, the relationships between them, etc. And this morning, as I was picking up my friend from the airport, I witnessed the miracle of birth.
I was to be the rock they could lean on. When the message came I crumbled into snot and tears and sobs and this rock was made of sand and foam.
They say that when you go to get a diagnosis for something, which they suspect might be complicated; you should bring a person to [...]
When I was in 6th or 7th grade, I was coming out of the deep end of the water and slipped into my mother’s dressing gown, which I had borrowed because it was so soft.
Towards me, from the other end of the pier, came my friend’s mother. As she came closer, she exclaimed: ”Is [...]
I wrote something else in this post and published it.
I re-read it days later and it all sounded horrible. Almost bitter. Negative, for sure.
Forgive me and allow me to try again.
THIS is what I think people would say if they were REALLY telling the [...]
It was the first day of Christmas break and I came home early with three kids on tow. We were going to make Christmas cookies. We ended up doing no such thing.
From the garden came the awful sound of Max wailing. I thought he might have been struck by a car. He was panicked, [...]
I swerved as I was getting my bike into motion, barely missing the elderly woman , who at the same time was passing me. She hissed angrily: ”WHOA! Watch out” and I yelled: ”Sorry” after her.
Fate would have us meet up 200 meters further ahead, waiting at the same red light. I caught her eye and said: ”I apologize, [...]
Monday night and I was exhausted. It was raining, and I had biked fast, so I was sweating – it felt itchy and gross in my wet woolen coat. I was carrying my computer bag, my kid’s backpack, my big purse and my bike helmet. The gym was crowded, it was a quarter past dinner [...]
This is where I blog about life as a woman, wife, mother, bad ass mother blogger, friend, lover, foodie and allround hellbender.
Wanna drop me a line? You may do so at mail[at]cindafuckingrella[dot]com.
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